Six waves, five variants, three doses of the vaccine, tsunami of infections and quarantines that do not end and link with those of other family members, children at home not infected, parents wanting to get infected and spend it all together . After two years of a global pandemic, the fatigue is not so much in the fear of the severity of the disease but of the isolation and seeing that "this never ends".
Sadness, weariness, grief in short, a roll that we all want to get out of. A sum and continues of children, parents, teachers and quarantines that do not end. Added to the accumulated fatigue are the high numbers of infections and, therefore, the confinements, with the conciliation complications that this entails, the numerous casualties among teachers, parents and children and the doubts arising from the changes in protocols. It has not helped that the pandemic has hit the little ones, of the thousands of children infected, more than half have done so since January 10.
"I can't wait to get infected with my children and pass it all on at the same time"
Sara, a single mother, has her two children at home, ages 6 and 3, infected with covid. The older one had a dose of the vaccine, the younger one nothing. And it's not the first time. In 2020 the mother and daughter virus already passed. And now again. "The first time there were 21 days of quarantine, this time there are seven, but if I don't get infected now and I do it when they finish they will be home again for another seven days because in my case no one can take them to school if I am infected. person who helps me I have told him not to come. The neighbors take out my garbage. I can't leave my children alone. So yes, I'm looking forward to getting it again but now".
"Last night the little girl came to my bed crying because she was afraid. What do I do, don't I hug her? Shall I put on the mask to sleep with her? It's crazy." While the children are at home, she works as best she can. "It's impossible for something to go well, I don't make breakfast, I don't work, I don't watch TV, I don't make food. I just want to catch it," he says.
Marta, mother of two children aged 12 and 10, has been the same, one son infected and the other going to school. They haven't caught it. "It has been a horrible mess, some yes, some no, each one eating in a room. It is not fear of the covid, it is the heaviness of day to day and not seeing the end." Alonso, father of two girls aged 6 and 12, was infected a few days ago and his two daughters have had to lead separate lives. One is vaccinated with the full regimen and the other has had to stay at home in isolation while her mother worked. "A blunder."
"You have to measure your strength"
Timanfaya Hernández, a health and forensic psychologist and Vice Dean of the Madrid College of Psychology, believes that the people who best cope with this pandemic are those "who accept uncertainty, the most adaptable, those who do not expect excessively, who do not set themselves goals that are difficult to obtain.Those who take it the worst are, on the other hand, the most vulnerable and the most sensitive to not being able to plan or project".
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We had no experience in pandemics and we don't know how to manage it. "The daily changes and the lack of information leads us to bewilderment and generates greater frustration because we cannot control this situation. It also affects us that there is no common rule, each site has its rules and that affects the most vulnerable above all," says the psychologist.
“This is a marathon in which you have to balance your strength. There are people who can cope with it only with a little tiredness and other people who, along the way, will encounter difficulties and fall into any of the phases. There is no longer fear of the virus, there is a very big exhaustion that will end up taking its toll," says Hernández, who says that in two years of the pandemic we have been through a lot but here we continue to endure and in a marathon the one who endures the longest wins, not the one who runs the fastest .
Explain that pandemic burnout or fatigue is widespread. There is nothing worse than living in a certain alarm situation, but in which there is not much to do either and in which the guidelines are constantly changing", says the Vice Dean.
"It's no longer fear of the virus, it's absolute fatigue"
"Seven days locked up at home has been worse than the three months that all of Spain was. It must be that I have forgotten what that was, but These seven days with almost no symptoms and without being able to go out have made me more desperate than then. I juggled for my husband to isolate himself, for the children to do their homework and I have a headache like I've never had," says Lucía, another infected mother.
"People are very tired of all this. It seemed that we had approached the reality before the pandemic and we return to infections, measures, confined classes, worry, quarantines... In families there are "There is a lot of confusion. We have been living like this for almost two years and, although we have all gone through different phases starting from the fear of the beginning, the most widespread feeling right now is that of being fed up for not knowing how long we will be like this," explains Elena Arderius, director of the Center Comprehensive Accompaniment for the Family of the Francisco de Vitoria University.
This weariness is coupled with uncertainty on many levels. Doubts about protocols, quarantines, positive children, work and that generates defenselessness and states of anguish. We carry a lot of emotional burden and that makes us reach a point where we can't take it anymore. Arderius also says that it is a stress that is maintained over time and leads us to break down emotionally because it seems that we do not have the resources to sustain this and many times they do not make it easy for us. It seems that we had it under control but now we have started again and we cannot accommodate ourselves because everything changes continuously".
"You have to be positive and see the bright side, the pandemic may have a near end"
For this reason, Arderius encourages positivity, it is true that it depends on each person, but you have to have Keep in mind that the pandemic is becoming more controlled and you can see a relatively close end even if you don't know the exact moment.
This is what has happened to Gabriel, a 70-year-old from Madrid, the worst thing has not been going through the covid, he has had congestion and some fever but he has been fine, the worst thing has been being at home alone and powerless go out. "It's like groundhog day, always prepared in case someone infects you, without seeing much of your friends and in the end you take it and start again. This nightmare never ends."
Hernández agrees with her and explains that although there are no magic formulas, consistency must be applied. "We are not like at the beginning of the pandemic, we have more information and we are better. Another important thing is to learn to manage ourselves emotionally, that is, we have to learn to distinguish if we are sad or what really happens is that we are bored, if we are anguished or irritable by the situation. They are different emotions. The permanent search for happiness does not correspond to reality either, now a pandemic has come and we do not have tools to manage it.
Another of the possible solutions is to accept it, although it is not easy, says Arderius. We have to have a predisposition to be more positive and not get carried away by the negativity of the environment. We are exhausted but we must surrender to the evidence, not resign ourselves but face and learn to live with uncertainty. Having everything under control is not always the best," says the psychologist, who adds that if you are confined for seven days it is better than a month, if you are infected and you have a headache it is better than before you ended up in the hospital. Knowing that we can do something to improve our situation, it helps us", he concludes.